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Wicewi

Zaposlio se Mujo u Centra-Transu kao vozac autobusa. Na raspodeli zadataka, šef mu rece:
• Mujo, moraceš i voziti i naplacivati karte.
Mujo kaže:
• Nema problema.
Isti dan strmopizdio se u neku provaliju i skršio autobus u komade. Došao šef u bolnicu da ga obide i pita ga kako je došlo do udesa. Mujo veli:
• Nemam ti ja blage veze, ja sam bio u zadnjem delu i naplacivao karte.

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Dođe Mujo na željezničku stanicu i vidi novi automat.
Na njemu piše:
- "Ubaci novčić, ovdje stavi ruku i mašina ti kaže tko si."
Mujo stvarno proba i ubaci novčić. Automat mu kaže:
- "Ti si Mujo i čekaš vlak za Sarajevo."
A Mujo hoće da zajebe automat, našminka se i opet
ubaci novčić u automat.
- "Ti si Mujo i čekaš vlak za Sarajevo."
Ode Mujo na WC i vidi kondomat. Kupi kondom i navuče
ga na glavu i opet ubaci novčić.
- "Jebi ga Mujo, dok ti ovdje glumiš kurac, ode ti vlak
za Sarajevo."

------------------------------------------------------------

Pitanje: Zasto je Bog stvorio plavuse? Odgovor: Zato sto ovce nisu umele da donesu pivo iz frizidera. Pitanje: A zasto je stvorio brinete? Odgovor: Zato sto ni plavuse nisu umele. Opet o plavusama… Pitanje: Sta je prvo sto plavusa uradi ujutro? Odgovor: 1) Predstavi se. 2) Ode kuci. Pitanje: Sta se dobije kada se poredaju plavuse tako da jedna durgoj stoje uvo-na-uvo? Odgovor: Vazdusni tunel.

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Sleteo bracni par s' Marsa usred noci na benzinsku stanucu, naravno zatvorenu; creva prebacena preko pumpi. Izadje Marsovac pridje i kaze - Zdravo Dizel, ja sam dosao ovde s' Marsa... Nista. Ode desno. - Zdravo Super, ja sam Marsovac da se upoznamo... - Zdravo Normal, ‘oces li ti pricati sa mnom. Vrati se u brod i kaze zeni - Zeno ovi zemljani su strasno uobrazeni - Bio bi i ti da mozes da ga prebacis preko ledja.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Mladi pop na praksi kod starog. Par dana se nije usudivao da pocne sa propovedima, dok mu stari nije rekao da tremu ubija duplom ljutom. Ovaj se ohrabri (dva tri puta) i odrzi napokon propoved. Parohijani odusevljeni, samo sto ga nisu na ramenima izneli. Kad se svet razisao, pita on starog popa kako je bilo, a ovaj ce: - Dobro je bilo, vrlo, ovako, zivahno, a i niste mnogo ni gresili. - Gresio sam? A u cemu to? - Pa, prvo, Adam je zagrizao jabuku a ne Evino dupe; drugo, kad ih je gospod iz raja isterao, nije ih oterao u materinu, i trece, na kraju se kaze “amin” a ne “fajront”.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Mozgaju Mujo i Haso ima li na nebu fudbala i posle nekog vremena odluce da ko prvi umre kaze drugom u snu.I tako umre Mujo i jave se tako Hasi u snu.Pita ga Haso: -Jel ba kako je gore? -Ma super nema cega nema. -A jel ba ima li fudbala? -Pa imam 2 vesti da ti javim: prvo ima fudbala i prvenstvo pocinje u sredu a drugo branis u nedelju.

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